I was reading a blog about reasons to have a will, or some sort of instructions concerning your loved ones in case you pass away unexpectedly. It made me think of my dear neighbor down the street.
She and her second husband hadn't been married very long. She had four kids from a previous marriage, and an elderly mother to care for. He didn't mind. He totally loved her and wanted to help her carry the load. One of the first things he wanted to do was make sure he had a good life insurance policy.
My friend didn't want him to 'waste money' on a life insurance policy, given that they were still quite young. They even had a fight about it! Apparently, he went ahead and secretly bought the policy anyway.
He died unexpectedly about 6 months later! He was 33! It wasn't a huge amount, but it was enough to pay for the funeral, get out of debt, pay off their modest house, and buy a decent car. She is now in her late 70s, and is still grateful for the way he took care of her and her family.
My father in law is now suffering from a heart condition and is thinking seriously about 'dispersal of assets'. He has been 'distant' for all of these years, so talking about it is awkward. Also, my husband and I never wanted to 'benefit' from someone dying, so we always put the possibility of inheritance out of our minds. We don't want to look forward with any degree of anticipation.
But he talks about it a lot. And sometimes we feel toyed with...like he's crying out for attention, or like he's trying to get a reaction from us. If there is benevolence there, and I do think there is some, it is jumbled up with everything else. The truth is, if we were to inherit anything now, it would be bittersweet, and not just because he would have to die for it to happen.
We raised our kids in poverty...and without grandparent involvement...(not our choice)...even though they had grandparents living. We live in a drug infested neighborhood. We have two kids out of five that have been taken in addiction. Would that have happened anywhere? I'll never know. I just know that if there was ever a time for us to improve our lifestyle, it would have been best when the kids were younger. Money won't fix it now...but I think it could have prevented it. So, my question is this. If you have money...what's the point of hanging on to it until you die?
6 comments on Benevolence
Add a comment
To add comments without entering your email and image verification, you must be logged in. Login or Join Blogster
How true....my grandmother on my mother's side died backing up on the highway, and crashing into a cruiser, in 1992. She was a stingy old lady and when they cleaned out her house, they found all kinds of SS checks that had never been cashed, stocks and bonds that no one knew about......I grew up in foster homes for the most part, and my mother had a lot of mental illness, as did her mother...I grew up wanting to escape, doing any drug I could get my hands on, some outgrow it, some are in jail, some institutionalised, I had to dig myself out and came to believe, it took quite some time, but I believe that if I didn't ....well the outcome would not have been pretty, I pray for you and your family...
Thanks for your prayers. Sometimes it's the only thing you CAN do. But if there was ever anything else I could do...I sure hope I would do it. Your grandmother really missed the boat! I think my father-in-law did too. Did no one ever tell them that they couldn't take it with them? In my father-in-law's case, I know he's lost at least a couple of hundred thousand dollars in assets during the recent economic downturn. So all his hoarding may have been for naught. Oh well. I plan on doing things differently.
Mighty good points brought out here. I agree there is no point in hanging on to all your money. Use it while you are alive to use it. If something happens to us all the things money bought will be there at the disposal of our loved ones whoever they may be.
I believe that our peace of mind is worth the spending. don't get me wrong I do believe in saving for a purpose, just not for the sake of housing a future fortune.
My mom and dad had a friend that did that. He did it in the hopes of a nice relaxing life after 65. Well it never happened. Yea, he had a fortune in the bank, and he never had the chance to use it the way he wanted. His wife you think she would have learned and went out and spend it. Nope! She died at 87, a very wealthy person and no children to inherit it. I don't know what happened to any of it.
I totally think life insurance is a must. It protects the survivors from heavy burdens. You don't have to have a huge policy, just enough to bury you would be good. That way no one has to stress out over how it is going to be done.
I agree!
Back when my daughter needed help, I used the money everyone told me to put in a 401k to help her and the kids live in a good neighborhood, now that she is on her feet, she and her guy bought a house of their own. A lot of people seemed to think I was either rich or an idiot for helping her. I was not rich, I didn't have cable or a cellphone or any of that. I used that money to help her. And though I don't have much in my 401k, I know she and my grandchildren are fine.
I think it is good to put a way what you can but not at the expence of your family. I hope they will do the same for me, if I ever need it.
This makes me so happy to hear! I think you absolutely did the right thing! Not only did you protect them, but you showed a wonderful example of how families help each other! I'm sure this will be remembered if you should ever have a need. I can't think of a better 'investment' than to build up a legacy of kindness, and caring.