I don't know if I'll post this or not. I just need to sort out what just happened. My 17yo daughter has come home a number of times in the past several days raging about her boyfriend who isn't around anymore, certain that he's fooling around with someone else. She's been talking about wanting to do bodily harm! Today she talked about wanting a gun! We didn't know what to say, so we kind of brushed it off, while still trying to figure out how serious she was.
Later, she came back saying "I got a gun". My husband and I tried to see what her intent was, and she was giving us the whole spectrum of answers from 'I'm not going to do anything stupid...at least that I'll get caught with...,' to talk of 'pistal whipping,' to 'If I'm gonna show it...I'm gonna blow it.' It was pretty scary talk! We tried to draw her into the family...asking for help with dinner to difuse the situation. She wouldn't have it.
She stormed out the door... and we were left to wonder what she was going to do. I decided to go after her. I found her, and tried to get her to go with me to the beach where she could 'walk it off'.' She refused. She threatened to jump out of the car, and I sped up. It probably wasn't the smartest thing for me to do, but I was worried about what she might do if she were out of my sight. She jumped out of my car at one of the stop signs. I told her to get back in the car. She refused. I told her that if she didn't get into the car I would call the police. She told me to go ahead. So I went home and called them.
I can't even begin to tell you how much it disturbs me to have to go through this kind of drama! We haven't had the police here for a long time and I like it that way! But the possibility that she may actually hurt someone, or even flash a gun at someone made me decide that I had to do something...even if it might be the wrong thing. Now I'm left to wait...which is pretty stressful too. I don't know if the police will find her, or what will happen. I don't think I over-reacted, but I really hated to do this! And I hate the way I feel right now...and while I'm feeling really crappy, I'm supposed to be studying to give a spiritual lesson tomorrow.
It's pretty late to be getting a substitute. If I don't give the lesson, I feel like I'd be giving into the 'negativity' that I presume to be the 'adversary' trying to thwart all things good. On the other hand, if I do give it, I wonder if I'm turning my back on a situation that may need my full attention...essencially turning my back on my daughter! The thing is, I've learned that I can't live my life around anyone else. When I do, it's usually futile. Rather than helping, the drama usually escalates until it consumes my whole life! And I lose out on whatever else I might ought to be focusing on.
This may sound selfish, but I feel that attempting to do that which uplifts me and hopefully others too, makes a lot more sense than sitting around wondering and worrying about a situation over which I have absolutely no control. But it's so hard to focus! Help!
7 comments on Rug Pulled Out
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Oh Maggie. I hope you can sort this out . Preying for you.
Thanks Tracy! I know that prayer is the best thing right now.
This may sound selfish, but I feel that attempting to do that which uplifts me and hopefully others too, makes a lot more sense than sitting around wondering and worrying about a situation over which I have absolutely no control. But it's so hard to focus! Help!
This is by far the best thing you could do. I have a son who is manic depressed. I have a lot of this going on with him. I have found that when I don't persue, but pray and do all I can to be spiritually sound that things seem to work out.
You have to remember that God is in control of your daughter and He will only allow things to happen that will serve a greater purpose in the end.
Even in prayer we cannot expect God is going to prevent someones every wrong move. We can pray for our strength and we can pray for God to do what only He can do in any situation.
I have found that working to hard to help in those situations don't help, they only make things worse. God can help in ways we can never imagine.
Today is the day you are supposed to do a spiritual lesson. By all means I hope you went through with it. Tho it may not seem so now your spiritual works will be the greatest power in your daughters life. She will see in you the path she should be taking. By putting any part of your spiritual life on hold will take blessings not just from you and others, but from your daughter's future as well.
I will steady keep you and your daughter in my prayers...
Sandi
Thank you for your prayers Sandi. And for your words of wisdom and support. It sounds like you've 'been there' too! I did go and give my lesson, and I have no regrets!
All you can relle do is lead your kids in the right direction. Yelling wont help u know it just makes them rebel. You need to do all u can, tell her things and guide her and hope she makes the right decisions. Hope everything turns out ok!!!!!
Thanks Desi! I know you are right. I do try to speak calmly, but every once in a while I raise my voice, or say things in the wrong way. But I have learned that yelling only escalates the situation, and I don't want to do that.
Maggie, I will pray for you and your family today. I know how it is to feel helpless when it comes to your child. My daughter, Sonya (she is 20 now) had to be institutionalised at the age of 12, she took a handful of Tylenol and was cutting herself up, doing ectasy, huffing....she didn't want to live, at that time I was 'doing my thing', it's a long story, you want what is best for your daughter and understandably so, I really can't give you much advice, except tough love, which is much easier said than done. A gun is definatly scary, I will keep reading I have not been on for a while, so I have to catch up.....you are in my prayers, Maggie
